Chokoleit in Las Vegas (Ms. Yunibers)

(Video Failed!!!!) WAHHH!!! Here's the link, view it at YouTUBE. A friend actually asked me to view this file in YouTube and I died laughing watching it. I've seen Chokoleit in Laffline and Punchline before and he already did this skit. Still, whenever I watch it I can't help but be amazed how talented our (Filipino) stand-up comedians are. Cheers to you Chokoleit! =D Found this article in Manila Bulletin... And note that this was written back in 2005. :)

On the Rise
Walden Sadiri

Chokoleit: TV?s latest flavor of a comedian




It?s true that it does take time before anything or even anyone for that matter reaches its "full flavor" and maturity. Stand-up-comedian and sing-along master Chokoleit knows that fact by heart as his journey towards popularity has been long and winding. But it has its sweet rewards as he has become one of the more popular faces in ABS-CBN?s shows.


"It was really a long time," he said in Tagalog. "I started in 1993 and it was just last year that everything went right for me in showbiz."

He added that he had a hard time invading mainstream showbiz because he didn?t know how and he didn?t know who to approach. What he realized though was that showbiz was also about right timing, if it was his, it would happen, in due time.

"This is my passion and that is the reason I kept trying. I really want to make people laugh. And during my trying times, deep inside of me I always believed my time would come. I just knew that God gave me this talent for a purpose," he rationalized.

Every night he enjoyed performing to regulars and new spectators in music?comedy bars like Purple Edge, Punchline, Laffline and Musicbox. His passion in comedy was the reason he didn?t become impatient about making it big time in showbiz. For him, he?d rather that he go through hardships before hitting mainstream showbiz so he could enjoy its benefits maybe longer.

"Now that I?m reaping the fruits of my labor, I?m going to take care of my even more. I won?t waste it nor take it for granted," he declared.

Chokoleit, while he was doing his regular gigs at different music-comedy bars, has also appeared in a number of television shows like "Haybol Rambol" and "Brunch" from the year 1999 to 2000. Unfortunately, his career was quite bumpy, he would either find himself with some TV appearances or none at all. And often there was a long period in between the shows that he did. It was as a stand?up comedian that kept him busy.

According to Chokoleit, his biggest break came last year when he was cast by director Wen Deramas in "Marina" as Pearly Shell. It was a moment he would cherish for the rest of his life since it opened new doors for him in show business. It even opened a new market for him because of his fantasy characters ­ the children televiewers!

"Kids recognize me more as Pearly Shell. I?m very happy about it," he shared.

Right now, Chokoleit after "Marina" is in the shows "Kaya Mo Ba ?To?" of Carlos Agassi, the Sunday showbiz oriented news show "The Buzz" and "Bora," as a semi-regular member.

Among the shows mentioned above, the most challenging is "Kaya Mo Ba ?To?" A reality TV show on daring people, his segment is related to animals. Televiewers every Saturday afternoon would see him racing people against ostrich or spending time with gorillas or pigs in their respective cages or pigpens.

"In this show, I?m the one with the animal appeal," laughed Chokoleit about his ordeals in his new show. "If you?re new in the business you just have no choice. You just have to establish yourself first. What I do in the show is fine with me. I know that I would also be doing other things in the future."

Like anyone growing in popularity in tinseltown, Chokoleit has also his share of intrigues. His latest one painted a bad image of him when an alleged whorehouse for men was raided and his name surfaced as one of the customers.

"I was really affected when this came out. I hope everything is okay already?.it?s true that I?ve gone to that place. I usually met my gay friends there. That?s all."

Looking back to where he started, Chokoleit shared that things have changed in the realm of stand-up comedy.

"To think that instead of upgrading the quality of stand-up comedy, the influx of so?called stand-up comedians lessened it because everyone now can instantly become a stand-up comedian. If you just know how to impersonate talents, tell the same old joke, you?re gay and you ridicule people, you?re immediately a stand-up comedian."

What he meant was that people may have forgotten the real essence of a stand-up comedian. It has always been for him standing in front of an audience and making them laugh without the expense of other people. He recalled the times of Arnel Ignacio and Ai Ai delas Alas in Musicbox wherein they could stand by themselves and be funny. Rather than evolving, the offensiveness of some comedians have even brought the quality of stand-up comics down.

"Unfortunately, I also become ?malaswa? in my shows in those music-comedy bars because that is what my audience usually clamor for. But in corporate shows or out of time gigs, I make it a point to have a sanitized show. I just have to be responsible."

So what kept his dream alive in showbiz?

"When I was just a sing?along-master, I already dreamt of being in showbiz to be like Roderick Paulate. He inspired me. He made me realize that you can be an actor even if you are not very good looking as long as you have talent. I told him that. I really believe in his talents. You can bring him anywhere - acting, comedy, hosting and even singing. I hope I can achieve even half of what he has," he shared.

Roderick Paulate?s advice to him is simple ­ have the right attitude, get along with people well, be considerate with other people and be humble.

For those wondering why he was nicknamed Chokoleit, look at him again. He was named Chokoleit (because of his color) by his friends in high school which didn?t offend him. He was even called "cocoa" or "chocolate."

"I wasn?t hurt by their name?calling because I don?t easily get mad. I?m a very happy person and everything that happens to me I think of it as having a purpose. I always see things in a positive light. I even make fun of myself?I?m glad that I look like this and I?m gay. If I became a man and I look like this, I think I would have become a criminal by now. Or if I were a girl and I looked like this, I?d still be a virgin until now," laughed Chokoleit.

Well, all those who called him derogatory names before should now look at Chokoleit. He may not look like the regular matinee idol but he has become one of the sweetest sensations in television right now. And his fame has earned him opportunities for out of town shows and money to slowly build his dream house. And like what he has always said, everything in life has a purpose from God.

What he can only say about his rising career in ABS-CBN is "ang kapamilya hindi ka iiwanan, ang puso, puwede kang magkasakit, magkaka-heart attack ka."

Jonathan Garcia a.k.a. Chokoleit is one comedian ON THE RISE!

How Gay Are You?

According to this test I'm 80% but to my friends I'm 110%. HAHAHAAH!!

80% ang nakuha mo, ateng!

 

Pwede na. Pero kung bakla ka, either closeta ka o kulang ka sa sense of humor. Loosen up, ate. Life is short.

Gay Lingo Fun Quiz
Take More Quizzes

Mutual Admiration Club

I tell you my friends, it's sick, so sick that Atche and I seem to have formed this Mutual Admiration Club out of our countless cam-whoring moments with each other. Armed with anything that has a lens, we tend to take photos of ourselves until we both get the shot we want (see below).


Photo Taken by Vicky


Photo Taken by Noel

So earlier, we started taling over YM and here's how our conversation went. Try and pee before you read this, we wouldn't want any accidents while you're laughing your ass off. =))

Read on...

malaswa ako (10/28/2008 4:03:11 PM): nakita mo na yung mga pics natin? Infernezzzz may magaganda!
NôëL (10/28/2008 4:04:29 PM): yeah!!!!
NôëL (10/28/2008 4:04:34 PM): madaming magaganda actually
NôëL (10/28/2008 4:04:40 PM): i soooooo LOVE MY new LENSSSS!!!
malaswa ako (10/28/2008 4:04:45 PM): may isa ka nga dun na parang GQ lemeng
malaswa ako (10/28/2008 4:04:46 PM): hihihihi
NôëL (10/28/2008 4:04:51 PM): WAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!
NôëL (10/28/2008 4:04:59 PM): teka lang i'm updating my HTC software
NôëL (10/28/2008 4:04:59 PM): hahaha
malaswa ako (10/28/2008 4:05:03 PM): hahahah
NôëL (10/28/2008 4:05:03 PM): mamaya kakareer ako nyan
malaswa ako (10/28/2008 4:05:04 PM): pota
NôëL (10/28/2008 4:05:05 PM): HAHAHAHAHA!!
NôëL (10/28/2008 4:06:43 PM): heto ba yung picture na yun?
NôëL (10/28/2008 4:06:45 PM): HAHAHAHAHA
NôëL (10/28/2008 4:06:57 PM): ang gwapo ko as in!!! i wanna have sex with myself!!!! BWAHAHAHAAH!!
malaswa ako (10/28/2008 4:06:59 PM): my gosh!!! Great minds think alike!!!!
malaswa ako (10/28/2008 4:07:02 PM): MISMO!!!!
malaswa ako (10/28/2008 4:07:05 PM): hahahahhaa
NôëL (10/28/2008 4:07:13 PM): ano pa vehhhh!!! HAHAHHAH!
malaswa ako (10/28/2008 4:07:16 PM): so sasamahan na rin kita sa Cityhall para pakasalan ang sarili mo????
malaswa ako (10/28/2008 4:07:25 PM): kase three months ago sinamahan moko eh
malaswa ako (10/28/2008 4:07:31 PM): when I got married to myself
NôëL (10/28/2008 4:07:32 PM): BWAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!!!
malaswa ako (10/28/2008 4:07:33 PM): hahahahaahahahah
malaswa ako (10/28/2008 4:08:58 PM): inggitera si bakla! nagpalit din ng avatar!!!
NôëL (10/28/2008 4:09:24 PM): BWAHAHAAHAHAH!!!!
NôëL (10/28/2008 4:09:27 PM): HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH!!! LAVINIA!
NôëL (10/28/2008 4:09:29 PM): eto malala
malaswa ako (10/28/2008 4:09:31 PM): Korak!!!!
NôëL (10/28/2008 4:09:45 PM): nagsend na ako ng message sa friend ko... sabi ko sis tingnan mo avatar ko... ang gwapo ko!
NôëL (10/28/2008 4:09:47 PM): BWAHAHAAHH!!!
malaswa ako (10/28/2008 4:09:50 PM): hahahahaahahhahahahaha
malaswa ako (10/28/2008 4:09:55 PM): hayup!!!! animalll!!!!!
NôëL (10/28/2008 4:10:02 PM): sakit na ito che!
NôëL (10/28/2008 4:10:04 PM): sakit na!
NôëL (10/28/2008 4:10:06 PM): BWAHAHAAHAH!!
malaswa ako (10/28/2008 4:10:14 PM): Anupangaveh???
NôëL (10/28/2008 4:10:19 PM): shaarrrrr
NôëL (10/28/2008 4:10:26 PM): i wanna photoshooooooot
NôëL (10/28/2008 4:10:31 PM): i wanna, i wanna!!!
malaswa ako (10/28/2008 4:10:32 PM): me tooo!!!!
malaswa ako (10/28/2008 4:10:36 PM): tara na!
malaswa ako (10/28/2008 4:10:37 PM): hahahaha
malaswa ako (10/28/2008 4:10:42 PM): habang payat pa akey!
NôëL (10/28/2008 4:10:46 PM): DALI DALI!!!
NôëL (10/28/2008 4:10:50 PM): sa bahay mo!!!!
NôëL (10/28/2008 4:10:52 PM): WAHAHAHAHAAH!!
malaswa ako (10/28/2008 4:10:58 PM): maliot dun eh!
malaswa ako (10/28/2008 4:11:00 PM): alam ko na!
malaswa ako (10/28/2008 4:11:04 PM): Sa pool!!!!
NôëL (10/28/2008 4:11:09 PM): KERI KERI KERI!!!
NôëL (10/28/2008 4:11:18 PM): AS IN... pero kailangan may araw pa
NôëL (10/28/2008 4:11:20 PM): paano yan?
NôëL (10/28/2008 4:11:24 PM): halfday tayo sa friday
NôëL (10/28/2008 4:11:26 PM): HAHAHAHAH!!!
malaswa ako (10/28/2008 4:11:30 PM): hahahahahahaahahah
NôëL (10/28/2008 4:11:39 PM): HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!
NôëL (10/28/2008 4:11:46 PM): eh daming tao lagi don di ba?
malaswa ako (10/28/2008 4:13:11 PM): ang taray talaga ng mga pics natin!!!!
NôëL (10/28/2008 4:13:15 PM): OO NGA!!!
malaswa ako (10/28/2008 4:13:18 PM): shet, gawa tayo ng portfolio nating dalawa
malaswa ako (10/28/2008 4:13:22 PM): SET CARD!!!!!
NôëL (10/28/2008 4:13:22 PM): di ko lang maupload sa blog ko ang animal
NôëL (10/28/2008 4:13:24 PM): WAHHHH!!!
malaswa ako (10/28/2008 4:13:25 PM): hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
NôëL (10/28/2008 4:13:32 PM): BWAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHH!!!! IBANG LEBELLLLL!!!
NôëL (10/28/2008 4:13:39 PM): Set Card na dalawang TAO!!!!
NôëL (10/28/2008 4:13:42 PM): BWAHAHAHAHAH!!!
malaswa ako (10/28/2008 4:13:48 PM): Tapos tatawagin nating THE ATCHES MODELLING AGENCY
malaswa ako (10/28/2008 4:13:57 PM): tapos tayomg dalawa lang ang agents and models
malaswa ako (10/28/2008 4:14:00 PM): wala ng iba!!!
NôëL (10/28/2008 4:14:06 PM): Tapos magpalit lang tayo, i give you mine, give me yours
NôëL (10/28/2008 4:14:09 PM): BWAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!
malaswa ako (10/28/2008 4:14:21 PM): naririnig ko dito tawa mo!
malaswa ako (10/28/2008 4:14:23 PM): hahahahahahahahahaah
NôëL (10/28/2008 4:14:24 PM): and photographer na din!!!
NôëL (10/28/2008 4:14:30 PM): SA IYO DIN EH!
NôëL (10/28/2008 4:14:34 PM): BAHAHAHAHA!!!
malaswa ako (10/28/2008 4:14:39 PM): Gawa tayo ng set card, bilis!!!!
NôëL (10/28/2008 4:14:52 PM): tapos para tipid, VBOX na lang magprint!!!!
NôëL (10/28/2008 4:14:55 PM): HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!
malaswa ako (10/28/2008 4:15:08 PM): tapos, pag may event ang V at QN, i-email natin yung setcard natin kay PS and JR para kunin tayong models. BWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAH.
NôëL (10/28/2008 4:15:09 PM): ang taray, gamitin talaga ng resources sa office!
NôëL (10/28/2008 4:15:10 PM): HAHAHAHAHA!
NôëL (10/28/2008 4:15:36 PM): tapos ang ramp, yung magmomodel tayo ng bwakanangshet na relo at kwintas nila
NôëL (10/28/2008 4:15:37 PM): HAHAHHAH!!!
malaswa ako (10/28/2008 4:15:42 PM): HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
malaswa ako (10/28/2008 4:15:51 PM): Sakit na to!!! Sakit na malala!!!!
NôëL (10/28/2008 4:15:55 PM): MALALA NA!!!!
NôëL (10/28/2008 4:16:12 PM): kahit sa Mandaluyong di na tayo tatanggapin
NôëL (10/28/2008 4:16:14 PM): hahaha!
malaswa ako (10/28/2008 4:16:17 PM): hahahahaha

Oh, did I mention that we took over 140 pictures earlier in the span of 40 minutes during our "lunch break?" And we're going out tonight so, there's more to come. Visit my multiply site soon. I'll post it ASAP. :)

And friends, watch out for our SET CARDS to be out soon. HIHIHIHI! Hayyylurrvit!

Lovefool

I've played that game and remember the rules.
Few times I've won and celebrated victory.
Yet often I lost but learned the lessons in defeat,
Became wiser on the riddles that you've shown.

I won't be fooled and tricked into believing your were true.
Your eyes, they deceive you.
It tells me what lies your mouth utters,
And how cold your touch feels on my skin.

I've walked this path and chose to turn the other way.
It's been too long, too far, too late.
I know you're capable of breaking hearts and only to forget.
That smile, that kiss, that embrace, it's all too familiar.

Stay away, I do not want you hovering like a cloud above my head.
I've been through this i remember how it felt
It tricks you to believing there's more than what you could expect.
I know the rules, I've played this game before, remember?

Life's Facts by Bob Ong

I started reading his books a couple of years ago and ever since, finishing Alamat ng Gubat, I fell in love with his humor, wit, writing skills and everything else in between.

These are some of the facts of life that Bob Ong wrote on his books. Read on and see why he really does make a lot of sense.

PAG-IBIG

"Kung hindi mo mahal and isang tao, wag ka nang magpakita ng motibo para mahalin ka nya.."

"Lahat naman ng tao sumeseryoso pag tinamaan ng pagmamahal. Yun nga lang, hindi lahat matibay para sa temptasyon."

"Gamitin ang puso para alagaan ang taong malapit sayo. Gamitin ang utak para alagaan ang sarili mo."

"Huwag mong bitawan ang bagay na hindi mo kayang makitang hawak ng iba."

"Huwag mong hawakan kung alam mong bibitawan mo lang."

"Huwag na huwag ka hahawak kapag alam mong may hawak ka na."

"Parang elevator lang yan eh, bakit mo pagsisiksikan ung sarili mo kung walang pwesto para sayo. Eh meron naman hagdan, ayaw mo lang pansinin."

"Kung maghihintay ka nang lalandi sayo, walang mangyayari sa buhay mo... Dapat lumandi ka din."

"Pag may mahal ka at ayaw sayo, hayaan mo. Malay mo sa mga susunod na araw ayaw mo na din sa kanya, naunahan ka lang."

"Hiwalayan na kung di ka na masaya. Walang gamot sa tanga kundi pagkukusa."

"Pag hindi ka mahal ng mahal mo wag ka magreklamo. Kasi may mga tao rin na di
mo mahal pero mahal ka.. Kaya quits lang."

"Bakit ba ayaw matulog ng mga bata sa tanghali? alam ba nilang pag natuto
silang umibig e hindi na sila makakatulog kahit gusto nila?"

"Hindi lungkot o takot ang mahirap sa pag-iisa kundi ang pagtanggap na sa bilyon-bilyong tao sa mundo, wala man lang nakipaglaban upang makasamaka."

"Kung nagmahal ka ng taong di dapat at nasaktan ka, wag mong sisihin ang puso mo. Tumitibok lang yan para mag-supply ng dugo sa katawan mo. Ngayon, kung magaling ka sa anatomy at ang sisisihin mo naman ay ang hypothalamus mo na kumokontrol ng emotions mo, mali ka pa rin! Bakit? Utang na loob! Wag mong isisi sa body organs mo ang mga sama ng loob mo sa buhay! Tandaan mo: magiging masaya ka lang kung matututo kang tanggapin na hindi ang puso, utak, atay o bituka mo ang may kasalanan sa lahat ng nangyari sayo, kundi IKAW mismo!"

PAG-AARAL

"Mag-aral maigi. Kung titigil ka sa pag-aaral, manghihinayang ka pagtanda mo dahil hindi mo naranasan ang kakaibang ligayang dulot ng mga araw na walang pasok o suspendido ang klase o absent ang teacher. (Haaay, sarap!)."

"Nalaman kong marami palang libreng lecture sa mundo, ikaw ang gagawa ng syllabus. Maraming teacher sa labas ng eskuwelahan, desisyon mo kung kanino ka magpapaturo. Lahat tayo enrolled ngayon sa isang university, maraming subject na mahirap, pero dahil libre, ikaw ang talo kung nag-drop ka. Isa-isa tayong ga-graduate, iba't-ibang paraan. tanging diploma ay ang mga alaala ng kung ano mang tulong o pagmamahal ang iniwan natin sa mundong pinangarap nating baguhin minsan..."

"Hikayatin mo lahat ng kakilala mo na magkaroon ng kahit isa man lang paboritong libro sa buhay nila. Dahil wala nang mas kawawa pa sa mga taong literado pero hindi nagbabasa."

"dalawang dekada ka lang mag-aaral. kung 'di mo pagtityagaan, limang dekada ng kahirapan ang kapalit. sobrang lugi. kung alam lang 'yan ng mga kabataan, sa pananaw ko ehh walang gugustuhing umiwas sa eskwela."

BUHAY (IN GENERAL)

"nalaman kong hindi final exam ang passing rate ng buhay. hindi ito multiple
choice, identification, true or false, enumeration or fill-in-the-blanks na sinasagutan kundi essay na isinusulat araw-araw. Huhusgahan ito hindi base sa kung tama o mali ang sagot, kundi base sa kung may kabuluhan ang mga isinulat o wala. Allowed ang erasures."

"Kumain ka na ng siopao na may palamang pusa o maglakad sa bubog nang nakayapak, pero wag na wag kang susubok mag-drugs. Kung hindi mo kayang umiwas, humingi ka ng tulong sa mga magulang mo dahil alam nila kung saan ang mga murang supplier at hindi ka nila iisahan."

"Mangarap ka at abutin mo. Wag mong sisihin ang sira mong pamilya, palpak mong syota, pilay mong tuta, o mga lumilipad na ipis. Kung may pagkukulang sa'yo mga magulang mo, pwde kang manisi at maging rebelde. Tumigil ka sa pag-aaral, mag-asawa ka, mag-drugs ka, magpakulay ka ng buhok sa kili-kili. Sa banding huli, ikaw din ang biktima. Rebeldeng walang napatunayan at bait sa sarili."

"Tuparin ang mga pangarap. Obligasyon mo yan sa sarili mo. Kung gusto mo
mang kumain ng balde-baldeng lupa para malagay ka sa Guinness Book of World Records at maipagmalaki ng bansa natin, sige lang. Nosi balasi. wag mong pansinin ang sasabihin ng mga taong susubok humarang sa'yo. Kung hindi nagsumikap ang mga scientist noon, hindi pa rin tayo dapat nakatira sa jupiter ngayon. Pero hindi pa rin naman talaga tayo nakatira sa jupiter dahil nga hindi nagsumikap ang mga scientist noon. Kita mo yung moral lesson?"

"Nalaman kong habang lumalaki ka, maraming beses kang madadapa. Bumangon ka man ulit o hindi, magpapatuloy ang buhay, iikot ang mundo, at mauubos ang oras."

HALO-HALO

"Wag magmadali sa pag-aasawa. Tatlo, lima , sampung taon sa hinaharap, mag-iiba pa ang pamantayan mo at maiisip mong di pala tamang pumili ng kapareha dahil lang sa kaboses niya si Debbie Gibson o magaling mag-breakdance. Totoong mas importante ang kalooban ng tao higit anuman. Sa paglipas ng panahon, maging ang mga crush ng bayan sa eskwelahan e nagmumukha ring pandesal. Maniwala ka."

"ayokong nasasanay sa mga bagay na pwede namang wala sa buhay ko."

"hinahanap mo nga ba ako o ang kawalan ko?"

"hindi dahil sa hindi mo naiintindihan ang isang bagay ay kasinungalingan na ito. at hindi lahat ng kaya mong intindihin ay katotohanan. "

"Sabi nila, sa kahit ano raw problema, isang tao lang ang makakatulong
sa'yo - ang sarili mo. Tama sila. Isinuplong ako ng sarili ko. Kaya siguro
namigay ng konsyensya ang Diyos, alam niyang hindi sa lahat ng oras e gumagana
ang utak ng tao."

"Obligasyon kong maglayag, karapatan kong pumunta sa kung saan ko gusto, responsibilidad ko ang buhay ko."

"Masama akong tao, tulad mo, sa parehong paraan na mabuti kang tao, tulad ko."

"Mas mabuting mabigo sa paggawa ng isang bagay kesa magtagumpay sa paggawa ng wala."

"iba ang walang ginagawa sa gumagawa ng wala."

"iba ang informal gramar sa mali!!!"

" Para san ba ang cellphone na may camera? Kung kailangan sa buhay un, dapat matagal na kong patay."



These are his book covers.... My favorite: ABNKKBSNPLAKo?!

Blabs 1.03

I need coffee... seriously. This dang hangover s*cks! #$!!~@#&*

Top 10 Romantic Pick Up Lines

Reposted from: Advice... with Dr. Julia Chicken

Came across this on my blog hopping and I think it's simply funny and wanted to share.

I think these just might be the best pick up lines around!

Top 10 Romantic Pick Up Lines

1. Hello, my name is Ingo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to... hey, you don’t have six fingers on your right hand. I’m also not seeing a ring on your left hand.

2. I was so enchanted by your beauty that I ran into that wall over there. So, I’m going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.

3. Hello, I'm doing a survey of what people think are the cheesiest pickup lines. Would you choose 'Do you come here often?', 'What's your sign?', or 'Hello, I'm doing a survey of what people think are the cheesiest pickup lines'?

4. Your good looks don't intimidate me. (Walk away)

5. I can tell by the way you're ignoring me that I fascinate you.

6. You know when our children say, "Daddy, how did you meet mommy?" I'm gonna have to tell them how difficult you were being.

7. Are you Natasha, my contact?

8. Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!
(You really have to be good to pull this one off – but I like it!)

9. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

10. Do you come here often? No? Then I better work fast.

It takes skill to use even the best pick up lines. And that skill lies in just being you. Keep it real! If you’re funny, fine. If you’re not, you’re not, so don’t try!

If she likes you, whatever you say will sound like the most romantic pick up line she’s ever heard!

Mr. Fu, I Heart 'Chu!

Ever wonder why whenever you ride a cab in any part of Manila (or possibly the Philippines) that there's only one radio station you often hear?

ENNERRRGYYY FM! Kailangan pa ba i-memorizzzze yannnn?!

And because I ride the cab almost every single day, I can't help but notice this.

"Radio in the taxi's Mr. Fu! Mehh GANON?!"

"Yan din pinapakinggan namin!!!" (Notice the excitement with 3 exclamation marks in Atche's text)

"Tangna! Requirement ba sa taxi ang station na ito? Bwahahahahah!"

"Namanchhhhhhhh!"

That's how Vicky and I ended the night, talking about Mr. Fu and the unbelievably addicting radio station. Ooops, my night didn't quite end that way pala! *WINK* Hihihi!

Anyway, just last week while I was on leave, I was watching this show at QTV 11 "Ang PINAKA (The Most)" hosted by the 'energetic' Rovilson Fernandez and the topic was 10 Ways To Be more Pa-Sosyal (social). And may I just add, that I wasn't the least interested on watching it because I thought Rovilson hosted like crapppp! In fact, I find the show absurd. That's just me, you're entitled to your own opinion.

Anyyyyyway, I was about to change channels when I saw Mr. Fu being interviewed so I stayed on watching. This was the first time I saw him and it was nice to put a face on a voice you often hear. Surprisingly, he was pretty cute though too gay for my taste. (MEEHHH GANON?!!?) I find him hilarious especially when he comments about his callers and texters.

Last night he was reading an SMS from one of his listeners who were complaining about her relationship going amok. All they do nowadays was fight and make-up, fight and make-up and fight and make-up… sounds very, very familiar. I'm hoping that girl wasn't someone I now or she'd probably get an earful from me. HA-HA!

So Mr. Fu started commenting about it which goes like...

"Hay nako! Itapon nyo na sa buzzzura ang relasyon ninyo dahil wala itong kwenta! Mehhh ganon!? Ang dami-daming problemmma sa mundo para pagaksayahan ko kayo ng panahon. CHAROT! Mehhh ganon?! Blahhhh, blahhh, blahhh" (Translation: You're relationship's the least of my problems. You should throw your relationship to the garbage bin, where it belongs. There's a lot more problems in the world to worry about than that! Blah...blah..blah!)

And note that he inserts "Mehh ganon??!" at the end of each sentence. Not to mention, he sounds gay as hell. HA-HA-HA!

Truth be told, I may want to hook up with Mr. Fu to actually find out if he really says "Mehh ganon?! all the time, though I'm hoping not during sex. Could you imagine, while doing it he says that. Irritating, right? HAHAHAH!

So if this blog reaches you Mr. Fu, let's have coffee at bulabugin mo ang universe kohhh!



picture grabbed at his friendster

Gay, Gay-er, Gay-est

I started chatting at MiRC a long time ago and met a lot of great friends there. (Aimee, BabyJudge, Gadjo, Diesel, Mikaela, etc...) It was fun and we would usually hang out every Saturday at Starbucks Robinsons Malate and head for the notorious streets of Malate, Nakpil cor Maria Orosa to get crazy drunk and dance the night away. We even had a name, The Saturday Night Group. (Ok, you can stop laughing now.) Such were the days of being young and foolish.

But my chatting days were long over until I discovered this nifty MiRC version in Firefox, an add-on called ChatZilla. So now, every time I get bored at the office, I do a little chatting. Tee-hee!

So, I was chatting at ChatZilla a few days ago and I went inside the #bi-manila chat room. And what was supposed to be an innocent passing of time turned out to be an obsession of sorts on the colorful world of pretentious dinggerts!

Number 1: GAY

tripQCNoW> qc anyone?? got place here for some hot stuff... no efems or chubs... asti tripers r welcum for same, hav me priv8 tsong...


Yes, you read it right it was TSONG! And as if the term wasn't bad enough being on a gay chat room using BRO, TSONG, PARE, TOL, DUDE, he adds insult to injury by typing in a SMS/TEXT format. I mean, WTF! I assume because he can chat in the first place that 1. he's using a computer, no matter how Jurassic it may be and 2. that he isn't using his mobile phone. So why the HELL is he typing in abbreviated SMS/TEXT form? I just don't get it! I mean, I literally had a difficult time trying to decipher what this person's ad meant? Can you?

...asti tripers r welcum for same, hav me priv8 tsong...

WTF! I mean HUUUWWHHHAAATTT THE F*CK?! (HAHAHAHAH! Sorry a momentary lapse right there, can't help it. It's so damn funny)

I don't know if I should be extremely pissed or pity the person.

I mean, guys, mga KU-MARE, we all know why you're chatting on that room. It's called bi-manila for goodness sake. And for the benefit of non-chatters out there stands for bisexual manila, which in my opinion should be changed to "gay-manila" because I doubt if there still exists bisexuals in this day and age.

NEWSFLASH: If you s*ck C*CK or have been eaten alive at some point in your life, YOU'RE GAY! And even if you've screwed a million girls but enjoyed the one-time-big-time deal with another guy then YOU ARE QUEER! So stop pretending you're not! Note, I said IF you enjoyed it.

Now, if you were raped or some parlorista got you good then I guess I can let you off the hook. But as a general rule, if 'it' stands for another guy then you should re-evaluate your sexual preference, even if, you're being paid just to lay there.

Number 2: GAY-ER

str8_trpr> 23 mnila...DISCREET GOODLOOKING 4 same...CAM2CAM(face2face) sa YM now....BTW I DONT SHOW myself 1st sa WEBCAM but SURE TRADER if u r really discreet goodlooking..CAM2CAM(face2face) sa YM now

Simple. Look at his nick: "str8_trpr" (Straight tripper)

If you're tripping then by all means do as you like but to add that you're straight but chatting at Bi-Manila. HAHAHAHA!!! (--and one more) Who the HELL are you kidding? THINK mare, THINK!

Number 3: GAY-EST

hot_stuff> FREE EMBASSY GUESTLIST AND WILL S*CK YOUR C*CK FOR FREE -- 0920907****

WTF! Now THAT'S an ad! Never seen this one so I thought it was very much worth mentioning. 'Nuf said. (P.S. No, I didn't save the number.)

-0-

I remember when chatting using MiRC was a convenient way to meet more friends and even to a certain extent find a possible lover. What in G*D's name happened? 4, 5, 6 years ago? When did it become a cesspool for sex eyeballs and bastardization of one’s true self?

I guess with the advancement of technology the more people neglect true knowledge. Ironic, isn't it? How some gay guys stooped so low to reach that note?

Effing sad.

PEACE!

Now, people... CARRY ON, CARRY ON -- BACK to work!

Confessions Of A Complicated Love-A-Holic

Yes, I am a complicated person.

As someone once told me, people can easily fall in love with me but it would take a greater amount of effort to keep on doing so. And yet, as I recently found out, there are still quite a number of people who are very much willing to take the risk and go the extra mile, which I find very comforting.

But what really makes me complicated? Let me give you a quick rundown so please indulge me a little. Anyway, you always have the option to close this window if you find this, for a lack of better term, “uninteresting for your taste”.

I easily fall in love if I’m extremely attracted to someone. I tend to overlook a lot of standards, which causes me (more often than not) tragic heartaches. Basically, that list I came up with a long time ago of people my ‘type’ goes out the window. AND YET, when I’m NOT attracted to someone, I don’t have the guts to tell him off. I usually wait for their interest to wither away. Good or bad? You tell me.

I can get ‘clingy’ to a fault. I tend to be possessive, ridiculously jealous, unbelievably paranoid and demanding. I would want to find someone to that I would go gaga over with and vice versa. I want to go crazy loving that person and not even think about anything else, at least for the first few months. Let’s deal with talking about the future of the relationship when we actually get there.

I am emotional. Very! I rarely fight with my partner and whenever I do I usually end up saying things that I would later on regret. And when he fights back, I cry. Just cry. I can be pissed one moment for certain things he does or does not do and then be utterly sweet the next. Yeah, call me crazy but that’s just who I am.

I have a lot of pet peeves. I hate waiting, people who don’t value time. I hate being late. I hate liars, addicts, nonchalance, and arrogance. I hate inconsiderate people. I hate fashion faux pas. I hate reckless drivers. I hate taxi drivers who scam. I hate tax. I hate corrupt politicians who pretend to care. I hate squatters. I hate people who don’t do their job well and yet pretend they’re overworked. I hate most of my colleagues. I hate bastards and jerks who woo you to believe they’re “the one.” I hate pretensions. I hate lousy service. I hate people who take too long to order in a fast food. I hate people who comment on things they know nothing about. I hate crowded bars. I hate people who have no regard for other people’s feelings. I hate pasosyal and maarte bitches. I hate pa-cool guys. I hate eating alone in a restaurant; it makes me feel like a loser. From escalators that don’t work to stupid people whose stupidity isn’t funny, the list goes on.

I am a self-proclaimed hopeless-romantic. I dream of romantic dates by the beach or a picnic in a garden that would blow my mind away, but I’ve become jaded recently. There are a lot of “great almosts” out there. I still believe in happy ever after though. I believe that happiness is a series of correct choices. I want someone who would understand me even if I talk in circles that make no sense. I love holding hands under the table and little things that would make me remember, like a particular scent or a remarkable moment. I love surprises. I love little trinkets of appreciation. I love long talks and long walks. I love a great conversation. I love magic on the first meeting. I love intimacy and passion. I love sex. I love being in love.

I am picky. I am very particular from my clothes, my food, my coffee, to my friends and dates.

I am eclectic when it comes to listening to music. I have almost 6000 songs in my iPod from Opera to jologs OPM… and still growing.

I love trivia and discovering new things. I am willing to try anything once. I hate clichés.

In this cynical world we live in, we can only dream of the day when we meet one person that can turn out more than you expect. I am turning 27 and all I ask is to care and love someone until then of my days. But I guess nowadays, it’s much, much harder to find.

The significant other that’s as much complicated as I am and won’t mind going that extra mile to make it work.

Thoughts On Dating

My friends would always say that I'm such a good catch. But recently, I'm finding that harder and harder to believe (only because recent dates seem to be proving to me otherwise). Sometimes, I can't help but think if there's really something wrong with me or has all the good men (gay or straight) become really that hard to find?

In our never-ending search for happiness, we date and date to try our luck on this game. And while we try to make a good first impression, there are really times when there's just no connection. So what does it take to make not just a good first impression but to make a lasting one?

When you meet a person for the first time in a date, there are certain rules that you follow. Here’s mine:



1. Prepare for your date but don't be over the top. Find out where you're going and dress appropriately. Don't wear an evening gown or a tux if you're just going for coffee or a movie. You don't want to intimidate the other person that much. Be comfortable on what you're wearing. Feeling good on what you're wearing always gives you more confidence.

2. Good Manners are always a must. Remember the things you were taught in school, Good Manners and Right Conduct. Don't curse or say inappropriate words and remember to say 'please' and 'thank you'. Nothing beats an educated person. After all, no one wants to hear the word SH*T or F*CK in every other sentence.

3. Talk about things you may have in common. Find that connection and start a nice conversation. Never talk about your EX's. No one wants to hear about it. That's why they are called, EX's -- they should remain just that. Don't talk about work; it's not a job interview.

4. Be confident (but don't overdo it). Over-confidence can be misunderstood as arrogance. If you're too shy, then try to open up a little. Don't clam up. Loosen up a bit.

5. Don't talk too much. Learn to listen and don't talk about yourself as if you want to reveal everything in one blow. Keep a little mystery. And don't ask too many questions. Especially inappropriate ones like, "What's your favorite position in bed?" Reserve that for the the 5th, 6th, or 10th date… if you get that far.

6. Be honest. No one likes a liar.

7. If you don't see the date to be going anywhere, have the courage to say so. Don't just stay there and endure the torture but if you can then at least let the date finish and be on your separate ways. Try your luck on the next one.

8. Keep the friendship. Don't feel bad if one did not like the other. It happens. You don't expect everyone to have the same feelings, right? So if you don't like the person or that person doesn't like you, remain friends. She/he might have another friend she/he could refer to you. Keep your network open.



9. Don't assume. Don't play the guessing game. Most likely, if there's a connection you don't even have to ask if the fondness is mutual. You'll go out again for sure.

10. Don't end on a bad note. Make sure you thank the other person for the company and the time. You did make an effort for this date after all.

Mind you, I do not claim to be an expert on dating. These are taken from my experiences and you're welcomed to share your own little DO's and DON'Ts on the matter. I've had my fair share of mishaps on dating. Stories you'd probably die laughing when you hear. But let me reserve that on future blog entries.

A date is an opportunity for you to meet someone. Meeting a person that could be your future lover, husband/wife, partner, or even friend, it doesn’t have to be too complicated. Remember, it's just another person you're meeting, so don't pressure yourself if it doesn't work. Throw back the fish and let's catch some more. Sooner or later, you might just end up catching the biggest fish at sea.